Thursday April 29th 2010, 5:47 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I had a dream that my mother died. It was dark and I was in the parking lot at the A&P that I used to shop with her at when I was a little girl. I somehow found out that she was dead and started hysterically bawling. I was screaming but no sound was coming out. Through documenting my dreams in this short amount of time, I realize that this is a recurring nightmare. Screaming without being able to make any sound. I realize that I am under a lot of stress, and I am graduating, auditioning for grad schools, etc, but I wonder why it is the act of screaming soundlessly that all of this emotion is being condensed into?

When I woke up from this seemingly endless dream I felt exhausted, and most definitely traumatized. Having a dream where someone dear to me dies very realistically has only happened once before in my life. It was about 5 years ago and my boyfriend at the time had been killed in my dream. I remember there being a very similar scenario.

In learning about all of these different dream theories I have become almost obsessed with figuring out which one I believe. Whenever I read a book, I become so gullible and fall into buying into any given theory. But as i step away, I realize I can never truly know. And in a way I don’t want to. It is one of those mysteries that will be a constant white light in the distance. Or maybe a green blue and pink light. Waving around.

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